Dad's Great Q&A

In family condo in Florida (Sanibel Island). Dad on the phone with local computer tech help that is clearly of the irritating variety. When he gets off, I express my sympathy. He seizes a teaching moment:

Q1: How many people are below average?

A1: One half.

Q2: How many are made in God's image?

A2: O.....K.....

I think it is only fair to add that he comes up with this stuff because, like me, he is a natural snarkmeister - but has been fighting it all his life, with a little more success than I - maybe having kids makes you want to set a good example? Or maybe I need 25 more years, and a few more good koans.....

More Family Hijinx

The scene: A Florida beach, where Delia, Brother & I are discussing where the Family should eat tonight

Brother: When you make a choice for a group, you can't worry; you just say, "Fuck'em if they don't like it!"
Me: Yes! Yes! I have this theory, "Some people just lack the "Fuck it!" gene! Though me . . . I mostly have it, but sometimes I don't.
Brother: May I be permitted to say that you have it, ah, unevenly apportioned?