Fish Story
Oct. 15th, 2008 04:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ellenkushnerOK, here's another one: in a new story that is coming out in F&SF shortly (more on this later), a teenage boy (in the Riverside world) is in the country, angling, and catches a fish:
...his opponent lashed the surface of the water. It was a pike, a big one, with a sharp pointed snout, its jaws snapping with the hook. It struggled against the pull of the line, and Crispin struggled with it as it raised white water and then rose into the air – it looked almost as if the fish were trying to wrestle him into its own element, holding him at the end of the nearly-invisible line, coming toward him, going away, dancing on the wind. Finally it spun in, a writhing silver streak of a pike that landed on the grass beside him with a desperate thud, enormous and frantic for air.
The editor queries:
Is the fish "frantic for air" or "frantic from air"? It seems to me the former suggests that it's frantically seeking air, which shouldn't be the case for a fish, should it?
Um.... They breathe with their gills, right? But they get air from the water, so it would be desperate for air, just the processed kind, right? Or should I say "frantic for breath"? which possibly sounds even dumber than "frantic from air"?
And if you know more about fishing and pike than I do, and see any other ghastly missteps there, do let me know. I researched it like crazy, so don't tell me you can't fly-fish for pike.
Just don't trouble to teach me a lot about fishing. I already turned in the story. I just need to know how fish breathe. Who knows what I might need next?
...his opponent lashed the surface of the water. It was a pike, a big one, with a sharp pointed snout, its jaws snapping with the hook. It struggled against the pull of the line, and Crispin struggled with it as it raised white water and then rose into the air – it looked almost as if the fish were trying to wrestle him into its own element, holding him at the end of the nearly-invisible line, coming toward him, going away, dancing on the wind. Finally it spun in, a writhing silver streak of a pike that landed on the grass beside him with a desperate thud, enormous and frantic for air.
The editor queries:
Is the fish "frantic for air" or "frantic from air"? It seems to me the former suggests that it's frantically seeking air, which shouldn't be the case for a fish, should it?
Um.... They breathe with their gills, right? But they get air from the water, so it would be desperate for air, just the processed kind, right? Or should I say "frantic for breath"? which possibly sounds even dumber than "frantic from air"?
And if you know more about fishing and pike than I do, and see any other ghastly missteps there, do let me know. I researched it like crazy, so don't tell me you can't fly-fish for pike.
Just don't trouble to teach me a lot about fishing. I already turned in the story. I just need to know how fish breathe. Who knows what I might need next?