nuggets from the past

[ellenkushner]

From NYC, our friend Dan Jacobson writes:

Just thought I would share something with you that I saw in the Times. It's an excerpt from a book called 'Strange Red Cow: And Other Curious Classified Ads from the Past" by Sara Bader. This is a classified ad from a New York paper (name of paper not specified) dated Dec. 21, 1861:

A young lady, country bred, but easily tamed and civilized, would like to correspond with a city gentleman, with a view to matrimony. It is necessary for him to be wealthy, and not less than forty years of age, as she would "rather be an old man's darling than a young man's slave." The advertiser is 21, and presumes her manner and appearance will recommend her to tastes not over fastidious; also, a lady of position, and will expect replies from responsible parties only; therefore, triflers, take heed. -- Address Matilda, Station D Post Office.

Comments

[lizziebelle.livejournal.com]

That's just fabulous! I work for a newspaper, and part of my job is taking classifieds, so that tickles me. I wonder if it worked for her? :)

[farwing.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's yet another book I must get. I really do wonder what kind of responses this country bred young lady received...

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't "Triflers, take heed" be a fantastic title?

[boxmint.livejournal.com]

I can't resist finding out. I'm posting it on Craigslist.

[farwing.livejournal.com]

Oooooh. What an excellent idea...

[mildmannered.livejournal.com]

A young lady, country bred

For some reason I keep thinking about Kaylee, from Firefly...

[sallytuppence.livejournal.com]

It's demanding a story, isn't it?

[readwrite.livejournal.com]

She sounds strangely familiar...

[aedifica]

It sounds like a recipe book to me. My mom used to make good trifle. Maybe she still does (when I visit, trifle-making isn't top on either of our minds).

[ebess.livejournal.com]

Best. Thing. Ever.

Runner-up for the Best Thing Ever title: World Fantasy 2005! Leland (purvision) and I had a faboo time chatting with you in the hallway and I have lots of lovely bits of wisdom from you in my notebooks from all your panels! I will probably be quoting you in my next column (http://www.scrypticstudios.com/index.php/columns/c82/)... something about socks not fitting everyone... :)

[boxmint.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping for triflers. It's posted here:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/w4m/109798708.html

Full Text, Pt. 1

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Arghh! My hard drive has crashed, taking my LJ software with it - so, rather than post this entire thing as an LJ entry w/o cut, I place it here, courtesy, again, of Dan, who writes "I knew when I read that excerpt that you and Delia would find it as delectable as I did, and am delighted that you have passed it on as a tasty morsel to your blogfans [blogfans??], who are carrying it onward. I would love to see the replies that Boxmint gets from posting it on Craig's List. [me, too!]

"Here is the full text of Lynda Richardson's article on the Sara Bader book. It appeared in last Sunday's NY Times, City section."

THE CITY WEEKLY DESK

THE WORDS; You: Ostrich Hat. Me: Black Waistcoat.


By LYNDA RICHARDSON (NYT) 1158 words
Published: October 30, 2005

NOW that Mayor Bloomberg has made his appearance in the personal ads of The New York Times (or, more precisely, an unidentified impostor has presumably gotten a good chuckle representing him), the personals find themselves squarely in the news. But in fact, personals have a long and surprisingly juicy history, as is evident in the brief notices collected by Sara Bader in ''Strange Red Cow: And Other Curious Classified Ads From the Past,'' published this month by Clarkson Potter. While personals exist the world over, they play a distinctive role in a city like New York, where the bustle of quotidian life among millions of strangers makes reaching out and touching someone (with dimples and laugh lines) easier said than done. Vintage personals dating back 300 years are a far cry from those found on a racy Web site like Nerve.com or even the more utilitarian Craig's List (where one hopeful suitor recently expressed a willingness to read a woman's tarot cards, tea leaves -- and breasts), but even in the city's pre-telephone days, New Yorkers got their groove on by posting their needs and desires. Here is a sampling from The New York Herald, The New York Sunday Mercury, The Weekly Anglo-African and other publications. ---LYNDA RICHARDSON

J.A.R. -- SARCASM AND INDIFFERENCE HAVE driven me from you. I sail in next steamer for Europe. Shall I purchase tickets for two, or do you prefer to remain to wound some other loving heart? Answer quick, or all is lost. -- EMELIE. (Dec. 18, 1865)

(continued next post)

Full Text, Pt. 2

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

MAY MINNIE -- FAREWELL, CRUEL GIRL! If not drafted, I will go as a substitute. Your scorn is harder and more pitiless to me than any Southern bullet could possibly be. -- John No. 1 (Aug. 3, 1862)

X.Z. -- IF YOU MUST HAVE A REASON why I refuse you, understand, then, that I cannot marry a man who wears soiled linen, has foul teeth and breath, and uses tobasco and whisky. Faugh! -- GENERRA (Nov. 16, 1862)

ANDREW -- YOU HAVE GIVEN ME SUFFICIENT cause, I think, to make me resolve to forget you if possible; but the sight of you on Thursday has set me crazy again. How can you be so cruel? Am I never to hear from you again? -- B.C. (March 21, 1875)

ROSE -- IT IS USELESS -- YOU ARE TOO LOVELY TO be trifled with. I am married. -- BENEDICT (Aug. 27, 1867)

TO PATRIOTIC UNMARRIED LADIES. -- I am a soldier, just returned from the wars. Have lost a leg, but expect to get a cork one; have a useless arm, but will be called brave for it; was once good-looking, but am now scarred all over. If any patriotic young lady will marry me, why fall in line! The applicant must be moderately handsome, have an excellent education, play on the piano and sing; and a competency will not be objectionable. One with these requirements would, doubtless, secure my affections. -- Address Capt. F.A.B., MERCURY Office. (Nov. 9, 1862)
"
A YOUNG LADY, COUNTRY BRED, BUT EASILY tamed and civilized, would like to correspond with a city gentleman, with a view to matrimony. It is necessary for him to be wealthy, and not less than forty years of age, as she would ''rather be an old man's darling than a young man's slave.'' The advertiser is 21, and presumes her manner and appearance will recommend her to tastes not over fastidious; also a lady of position, and will expect replies from responsible parties only; therefore, triflers, take heed. -- Address Matilda, Station D Post office. (Dec. 21, 1861)

THE LADY WHO CALLED UPON ME AT MY OFFICE on a Friday afternoon some four or five weeks ago, and left a note signed ''You know who,'' will please make herself known, as she is not recognized. (Oct. 21, 1865)

AN ANCIENT MAIDEN, AGED SEVENTEEN, whose heart is drifting about -- don't know where to anchor -- desires to fall desperately in love, as she has never been in that delightful state, wishes to communicate with someone who knows how to mind everybody's business but his own, with the hope that the congeniality of our dispositions, united, may be instrumental in making the world in general at peace with one another. -- Address, and inclose, carte de visite, LENNIE DAVIS, Broadway Post-office. N.B. First cousin to Jeff Davis. (Dec. 28, 1862)

MATRIMONIAL -- A colored gentleman who resides in the country, where there are but few of his own color, and who has not the pleasure of a very large circle of acquaintances, and whose business is such that it demands his time and attention, is desirous of forming an acquaintance with a lady of intelligence, and who is good in acts as well as in looks, with a view to matrimony. He is a widower, about 38 years of age, and has a daughter whose age is 15 years. Can give the best reference as to character and sobriety. This notice is predicated on truth and sincerity, and none need answer but on the like basis. He hopes that any lady who is afflicted with any hereditary disease will not answer this communication. --Address O.R.W., box No. 237, Bethlehem, Northampton Co., Pa. (Dec. 10, 1859)

MARRIAGE -- A GENTLEMAN, YOUNG, WITH A FAIR portion of cash and very ''large expectations,'' desires to make some good and handsome girl his wife. Her happiness will be his own, and the sincere object of marital relations; money no object, but youth indispensable. Old maids, widows, and ugly women over 18 need not respond to ''Ye Man,'' Herald Office. (March 8, 1866)

IF THE LADY WHO, FROM AN OMNIBUS, SMILED on a gentleman with a bunch of bananas in his hand, as he crossed Wall Street, corner of Broadway, will address X., box 6,735 Post Office, she will confer a favor. (March 21, 1866)

Full Text, Pt. 3

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

ON WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON A LADY WITH black silk quilted hat walked nearly side by side with a gentleman in a drab overcoat from Tenth to Fourteenth Street, in Broadway. Both were annoyed by the wind and dust. Her smile has haunted him ever since. -- Will she send her address to Carl, Union Square Post Office? (March 8, 1861)

WILL THE YOUNG LADY WHO SO KINDLY OFFERED me grace, when I accidentally stepped on her dress in Fifth Avenue, on Sunday last, allow me to offer any further apologies in person? If agreeable, please answer through this column, as an everlasting impression has been made on -- CHARLES BYRON. (Feb. 11, 1862)

NIBLO'S, MONDAY EVENING -- OCCUPIED Adjoining seats in parquet; repeated pressure of arm and foot and hands met when separating. -- If agreeable, address Bruno, box 211 Herald office. (July 17, 1867)

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Oh, **please** keep us posted!

And see Full Text, below.

[boxmint.livejournal.com]

S' interesting. I posted it in New York and London. On the New York list, everyone seems to think it's a coded request for kinky sex. But in London, my mailbox is filling up with men who claim to be 40, rich, and marriage-minded. I'm not quite sure what to do with them.

Re: Full Text, Pt. 3

[boxmint.livejournal.com]

Oh, I Love it. I especially love the methodical indelicacy of "the lady who called upon me at my office on a Friday afternoon." Do you think whoever it was just bit his nails and ran over his acquaintance for "four or five weeks", until he was finally driven to the newspaper office? Or do you think some indignant wife or teasing colleagues insisted on the ad?

Re: Full Text, Pt. 2

[(Anonymous)]

Wow!

My first feeling, upon reading the one you first quoted, was that nothing has really changed, except for the way some of those sentiments are worded ("triflers take heed", indeed). And then I read the ad from F.A.B. Mercury, and I was somehow reminded of all those old English ballads about young men coming back from war. With stiff upper lip, obvious pride and making light of obviously cruel wounds ("expect to get a cork one") which is so immediately affecting. And there's that regally worded ad from the "colored gentleman".

And then again, there's the smiling gentleman with that bunch of bananas in his hand. Roses are sooo Old World, when you come to think of it.

Great stuff, intoxicatingly quaint. -- Patrick from France

Re: Full Text, Pt. 2

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

As are you, mon cher!

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

It was just Grand getting to spend time with you & Leland!! I'm sorry my re-entry knocked me flat, as I meant to post all about it . . . . Anyhow, I look forward to our next meeting, wherever it may be.

May I alert readers on my LJ to your new column? (I was the one complaining about "TV characters," btw.)

[ebess.livejournal.com]

Of course! I'd be flattered. Sorry I didn't give credit when due -- I was totally going off my notes, which were pretty good but not perfect. :)

[handworn.livejournal.com]

Among the methods of revenge upon landlords or landladies included in The Physiology of New-York Boarding Houses (1857) are several using the newspaper classifieds. Advertisements purporting to be from the proprietor of the hated boarding house would appear saying that Irish or German immigrant families were welcome (at an unusually low weekly rent), and ten families or so would appear per day, often speaking English so poorly that it was difficult to explain to them that it was a hoax. Or ads would be placed offering to adopt advertised babies and asking their "owners" to bring them to the boardinghouse at dinner time for inspection.

Though I'm sure the fascinating ones listed in that book (which I'm going to have to get) were in earnest.

Re: Full Text, Pt. 2

[(Anonymous)]

Please, please, tell me you mean I'm so Old World, and not intoxicatingly quaint... O______o ?

Re: Full Text, Pt. 1

[elysdir.livejournal.com]

Hee! Btw, if anyone wants to be able to link to the original article, here's a link that won't expire:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/nyregion/thecity/30pers.html/partner/rssnyt

Re: Full Text, Pt. 1

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Amazing, how they can do that - thanks, Jed!

Old mans darlin / young mans slave

[(Anonymous)]

I just wanted to say that this has given me an upbeat, better outlook for my future. You see my girlfriend is 19 and I am 29, I have searched the net because she made that statement to me and I had never heard of it before. So this sheds a little light on the subject. Thanks for the postings and a little light into something that has had me worried. (Age difference)I guess to some age is only a number and it definitly can't number the amount of love someone has for another.