jaw-droppingly sad quote from a young dad

[ellenkushner]

"My relationship with my real dad has been spotty. And, I'll never forget this: he said, ‘If something was to ever go wrong with you, if I felt that, you know, you just messed up completely, I'll make another one of you.' You know, he has five kids, so I was a complete reject."

-- from an interview with a young new dad, NYTimes 6/20/10

I know I'm all grown up and I'm supposed to know that people can be like that.  But it's a shock, every time.

Comments

[negothick.livejournal.com]

I know it sounds heartless, but I do wish one of the "lessons" he had learned in that fatherhood course was "always use a condom."

[rubygirl29.livejournal.com]

That's just terribly sad.

[stormsdotter.livejournal.com]

I think you are very lucky, to be shocked at the cruelty many parents show children. Far too many parents see children as possessions, not people.

Before I broke off all contact with my father, he flat-out ordered me to transfer to Montana State University and study History before I went into Law. I told him that if he wanted to be a lawyer, he was welcome to do so, but I was not going to spend my days arguing, thank you very much. He screamed at me; I left and returned home to New England and my degree in Architecture.

He tried over the next few years to badger me back under his thumb, and I ignored him. I was relieved when he died a few years ago.

[calimac.livejournal.com]

What's even more amazing is that the young man's name is Leon Jr. You'd think his father would have some emotional investment in a son to whom he gave his own name, but maybe not. Maybe his mother named him that, perhaps in a futile attempt to get him some paternal attention.

In general I found the article more encouraging than sad. Leon Jr. sounds determined not to repeat his father's mistake. He goofed off as a teenager, and now he's trying to learn to begin to accept the responsibilities that brought him. I wish him luck. I saw a lot of articles this Father's Day particularly from women about how supportive and helpful their fathers had been to them as girls, and perhaps some day young Diamond will be able to write a similar piece.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

That's hateful. Poor guy, having to grow up with that.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Oh, ouch! I get in trouble with my kids for saying that about their young friends.

[peregrinejohn.livejournal.com]

Why do I love my family so? They are, without exception, the polar opposite of the interviewee's father.

[kimboosan.livejournal.com]

My ex-husband's father said something similar to him quite often apparently; and now they wonder why he has low self esteem and doesn't want anything to do with them. Go figure, you moronic insensitive not-parents. grrrrrrrrr

[tylik.livejournal.com]

"I think you are very lucky, to be shocked at the cruelty many parents show children."

Yeah. My response when reading the post was kind of "...really? ...actually, that's kind of sweet."

[gows.livejournal.com]

Wow. Jaw-dropping is right. Buh.

[martyn44.livejournal.com]

I may be simple but to me it is simple. My kids are here to live their lives and achieve their ambitions, not mine. If they're happy I'm happy for them. If they're not happy I do what I can to help. If they ever 'mess up completely' it won't be for lack of trying or me not loving them or not being there to help them start again. That's what my father taught me. Was he so unusual?

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

Augh. What is *wrong* with people!?