Advice from my Spiritual Guide

[ellenkushner]

When we were both Editorial Assistants in adjacent cubicles at Pocket Books, she told me to read Georgette Heyer. When I was trying to figure out how to write my first novel, she told me to open with a crowd scene before the hero enters. When we had tea this January, she urged me, Listen to the Voices. Tell the Story .

And now she is reminding us (females) all to Channel Your Inner Guy when speaking in public.

I'm listening.

Comments

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Heyer was definitely good at plot in her heyday.

I dunno about channeling your inner guy. How many arrogant alpha males have we sighed over, hammering at us to get into mental alignment? I find femme conditionals restful, for they don't attempt to herd me. I get resentful so fast when i sense myself being herded.

but then audiences vary as much as speakers do.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

I think her point is simply not to present oneself publicly as insecure, as it is not restful to one's audience.

Men are socialized hard that showing weakness is dangerous, while women are taught in oh so many ways that showing weakness is both safe and appropriate. There are situations for both where each is true, and where the opposite is true as well.

But speaking in public from a place of confidence (even if utterly faked) is far more effective than not. And I've seen you do it brilliantly, so I know you know this in your gut! The ways of demonstrating confidence are many, of course. As we both know, subtleties abound.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

*nodding*

That makes sense.

When I have to speak publicly, or read, I go into a combination of teacher and theater mode, which has little to do with me. It's all about the masks.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Yes!!!

[cija.livejournal.com]

while women are taught in oh so many ways that showing weakness is both safe and appropriate.

I would say rather that women are taught that showing weakness is unsafe but nevertheless required. But either way, I agree that the results are disastrous if the lesson takes too well.

(Unrelatedly: I first read Georgette Heyer because of you, because one of the Swordspoint blurbs said that it read like a cross between Heyer and M. John Harrison, and when I was young I got all my book recommendations from other books. So thanks!)

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

(Yay!

(So how did you like M. John Harrison?;)

Love your icon!!