Overheard on Riverside Drive

[ellenkushner]

Ellen (after watching unbelievably dumb trailer during John Stewart that turns out to be for a movie of childhood action toy "G.I. Joe"): God. They'll make a movie outta f*ckin' anything. (beat) Why won't they do our books?

Delia: I dunno. Because nothing explodes in them?

Comments

[miep.livejournal.com]

hmmmm..... explosions in riverside......

*thinky thinky*

*maybe time to poke at _riverside*

[0ccam.livejournal.com]

One of the gadget blogs that I read mentioned this site.

Your comment reminded me of it, so you get stuck with the link in a comment:

http://www.explosionsandboobs.com/

[cozzene.livejournal.com]

or it would be entirely too complicated and they would leave out 95% of it like the newest HP flick.

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

I agree--there's too much in Swordspoint for a mere 2 hour movie. A really high-quality series or miniseries, perhaps on HBO or Showtime though...set up like The Tudors perhaps?

One of the short stories could be a movie though, I think The Privilege of the Sword would make a really neat movie!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

As long as they don't hire the costume designer they used for The Tudors. Dear lord, that was awful. Luckily, Swordspoint isn't precisely this world, so they can take a bit more historical license, but there are some details (Richard wears a doublet, the noblemen wear early 18th-century coats, and the ladies' morning gowns have the goopiest lace engageantes you've ever seen in your life) that they just shouldn't mess with.

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched it! I got the impression that The Tudors was something to watch for the pretty.

But yes, a fantastic costume designer would be required.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Pretty, yes; accurate, oh hell no. Also, I kept getting frustrated because it kept not turning into the Swordspoint movie.

The Swordspoint movie needs Sandy Powell, who did Orlando and Shakespeare in Love and Interview with the Vampire and The Aviator and Far From Heaven and... you get the idea. Clearly we need a very big budget, because she's won multiple Oscars and doesn't come cheap. But she understands not just historical costuming but how costume reflects character, which is oh so important, especially for Richard (everything you own is brown!) and Michael Godwin and Lord Horn.

[otherdeb.livejournal.com]

And Joseph Fiennes as Alec.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Not tall enough. Alec is six three or six four, and he's only seventeen or eighteen.

[theniwokesoftly.livejournal.com]

Pretty, yes; accurate, oh hell no.

I think this sums it up rather perfectly.

[otherdeb.livejournal.com]

True, but can't you just see Alec planning something that would "explode gloriously" just because he could?

[raanve]

Could they find people pretty enough? I wonder.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Easily. We've got the unlimited budget version half cast already! Billy Crudup for Richard (they better get on this before he ages out of the part), Nicole Kidman for Diane, Bowie for Lord Horn, Michael Wincott for Lord Ferris. Alec really ought to be an unknown.

[theniwokesoftly.livejournal.com]

Bowie for Lord Horn

I totally shrieked. That would be so perfect.

[junkduck.livejournal.com]

OMG! YES!

Really, because he plays a pretty boy so nicely, we need Legol-- I mean Orlando Bloom for Michael Goodwin, don't you think?

Billy looks too old to me already -- isn't St. Vier like 19 in the book?

[dramaturgca.livejournal.com]

From the establishment's perspective, probably too much serious gay, at least in the Swordspoint series.

[themaskmaker.livejournal.com]

Precisely. We can only have self-deprecating, secondary character gay.

[junkduck.livejournal.com]

Well, Alec is self depreciating..... but in an arrogant way. :D

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Good miniseries could be made from the books, but a movie would basically have to gut the story to make it under 120 screenplay pages.

Bet a shorter work could be adapted, though.

[alecaustin.livejournal.com]

This.

Plus the only reason GI Joe is getting a movie is the wave of 80s cartoon nostalgia which it and the Transformers movies are busily killing to death. So.

[stevendj.livejournal.com]

That's not a problem. They can always add explosions.

[yaoi-in-exile.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, I can definitely see appropriate openings for some explosions in the Riverside books. The croquet balls at the Duchess's garden party explode on impact...the Swan Boat can't sail under 15 mph or it'll blow up...Richard doesn't even have to duel people, yanno? He can just lob grenades at them! :DDD

The masses will love it. *cackles*

[otherdeb.livejournal.com]

Yeep! "Speed" in RIverside......

[xanath.livejournal.com]

Because Hollywood writers are like mama birds--too busy regurgitating what they've consumed to feed the masses?

Cynical, me? Nahhh. ("Bitter, Party of One!")

[yaoi-in-exile.livejournal.com]

Now, that's not entirely true - there are fireworks! :3 And sometimes Alec even throws things!

Besides, certain books are all about explosions, and they don't have a movie either. (nooo, I didn't just finish rereading Havemercy... *shifty eyes*) People just don't know what's good for them.

[elissa-carey.livejournal.com]

To heck with Hollywood. Go Sundance and independent film!

[webcowgirl.livejournal.com]

I was heading out to see an Ibsen play (http://webcowgirl.wordpress.com/2009/08/03/review-ghosts-arcola-theatre/) with a frighteningly literate friend of mine, and he said, "We're going to see a show with lots of car crashes and chase scenes, right? Ibsen plays are all like that."

"Of course," I answered, "but this one also has a sexy, half naked blonde."

"Ah, yes," he said, "Ghosts. How could I forget?"

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

You have just reminded me of how badly I'd love to see a movie for your Swordspoint.

I mean, it starts with a drop of blood on snow and a sword fight - that's totally movie-worthy.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Nonsense, you have fireworks! Those explode!

Probably because you have too many boys kissing and they haven't figured out that they'll draw a HUGE female audience with the combination of period costume and boys kissing.

[webcowgirl.livejournal.com]

I would be first in line.

[regicidaldwarf.livejournal.com]

People get stabbed though! That's almost as good as explosions in Hollywood land.

[(Anonymous)]

I can't make a movie, but a comics, maybe? ^^

Algesiras

[temporus.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Broadway perhaps?

[junkduck.livejournal.com]

I would love to see a movie, or a well done miniseries.... in response to the above -- it seems that Richard wears both a coat and a doublet in the book.I've always gotten the impression, from the books, that it is verging on the mid 18th century, and in "Privledge" it is probably rolling into the Baroque period (The Duke's reference to the "room full of curves".)

And really, I'll take swordwork over explosions ANYTIME.