First Person description?

[ellenkushner]

Following the excellent leads of colleagues like Justine Larbalestier & kateelliott, I post a question about writing that someone recently sent me:

I am finishing a story for Friday and it's written in first person present tense. I just realized yesterday that my main character being an "I", I haven't described him physically at all. I know, it's the old same problem again, but how do you cope with that kind of problem? What do you actually do? Have him look into a mirror? Too obvious! Or something like: "You really are the way I imagined you." "Ah yes, what do you mean, my blond hair, big nose and small eyes?" I am just kidding, of course. :-)

Thanks so much for any quick tip.

My answer:
Why does it matter what the character looks like?

What's yours?

Comments

[idiomagic.livejournal.com]

I never really pay much attention to an author's description of characters...I develop a picture of them in my mind as I read that often has nothing to do with the author's vision.
For example, I am stubbornly convinced that Paul Atreides is a redhead. ;)

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

The amount that it matters to the character what s|he looks like, I think. If the character is squeezing into a tight space and he is small or large, that's something to mention. If the character has three tall, pretty sisters and is short and plain, and interacts with them in the course of the story, then it's going to matter to the character. If it doesn't matter to the character, and doesn't do anything for the story, who cares?

[casacorona.livejournal.com]

I answer you: "First person, present tense? Perhaps that is not not the easiest voice to do well." And it doesn't matter what I look like, unless of course it's very important to me. In which case, I'll be thinking and saying things all the way through that give the information. I will choose clothing and accessories to compliment my looks. I'll worry about how my hair looks. And whether my shoes are right. I'll notice that other people are taller or shorter than I am, or if it's hard to reach up to a cupboard.

[peregrinejohn.livejournal.com]

Indeed so. A passing "God, I hate my freckles" (if relevant) could be not only enough for a situation but also both intriguing and evocative, even if it's the only description in the whole tale.

Heck, our hostess here has written some right fine books about a city that as yet has no name in print. Judicious avoidance of description can be a virtue of its own.

[gxdm.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a reader, it never matters to me what the character looks like save for where it matters in the story. Trying to force the description in never reads well. (Further it usually leads to a bit of writing like you would see in a bad romance novel "her flaxen hair flowed over her curvaceous body... His muscled arms lifted her up...etc...")

If the story requires a description or parts of one, it will be flow into the story where it makes sense. If it doesn't, it won't and is unneeded.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Back when I was an editor reading slush, there were an awful lot of female characters pausing to admire their perfect breasts in mirrors.

As we so often do.

[lareinenoire.livejournal.com]

Readers have their own mental images of characters, and no matter how much description you put in, the two will never meet. If a description grows out of the writing, great. If not, don't worry too much. If the character's appearance is important to the plot or to characterisation (I have characters whose appearance is of at least some importance, for instance), it will probably work its way in.

[thatwasjen]

I suspect that if the author hasn't felt a need to describe the character within the story, then description isn't necessary to the story and it should be left out. Assuming, of course, that the story is told well.

Another 2 cents

[otterdance.livejournal.com]

If there are details about the guy that are important to the story, he could get that across by commenting on himself. "God, I wanted her, but why would a babe like that look twice at a paunchy guy with a bad comb over?"

As far as mirrors go, people do look in them now and then, but it's best done in passing, rather than a full body scan on page one.

Re: Another 2 cents

[rosefox]

Unless it's a character trait and the narrator is always glancing at reflections in shop windows and elevator doors.

[aynatonal.livejournal.com]

It frets me a bit if I never get to know what the narrator looks like at all. As was said above, even a single mention of freckles gives me something to go on when creating a mental image. It doesn't have to be a grocery list, but I do like *something*.

[ellen-denham.livejournal.com]

If a physical detail is really important there are ways to get it out by the character's thoughts or reactions from other characters. If not, it's probably not important.

For example (and I'm not claiming these are good examples, just the first things to fly from my fingers):

I'm taller than John, and I know he doesn't like it. When we go out, I have to resist the temptation to slouch.

Or:

Marcie sighed. "Well, you would say that, being blonde."

In either case, of course, being tall or being blonde should be an important detail in the context of the story.

The kind of stuff I hate in first person is: He gazed at my auburn curls and then his gaze moved down to my burgundy sweatshirt, lingering on my silver bracelet..."

For one thing, she knows what color her hair is so has no reason for her as the pov character to specifically mention it in that context. For another, it's almost a point of view violation. Sure, she might know that his eyes move from her hair to her bracelet, but perhaps he was looking over her head out the window and then wanted to see if she was wearing a watch before asking her the time. And if the burgundy sweatshirt isn't significant, what is it doing taking up space?

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Well said.

[ewein2412]

hmmm, I've been writing mainly 3rd person limited p.o.v. lately, but I run into the same problem a lot--the character isn't vain and what he looks like is difficult to make relevant in the text. he looks like his father, so sometimes I just describe his father. At one point he wonders if his baby sister will look like him... which then becomes an opportunity to describe the baby's potential coloring. Hmmm. Now that I think about this, I do this a lot--describe a character by describing a close relation and pointing out the similarity. It doesn't even have to be done in the same context.

If there's something unusual about the character's looks, that can always be used against them--"Look at your horrible scar" "Don't you know those blue eyes can curse you" (one of these sentences has NOT been used to describe any character I've ever made up, guess which one)

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Innnnnteresting . . . .

[vschanoes.livejournal.com]

I don't bother with a character description, mostly, either as a reader or a writer. If it matters to the story, it'll come up organically over the course of the story ("I always knew this would happen: my father left my mother, my grandfather left my grandmother, and now my husband is leaving his dark-haired, big-nosed Jewish wife for a blonde shiksa"), and if it doesn't, it probably doesn't matter. One of my favorite first-person narrators, McIlvaine in Doctorow's The Waterworks never describes himself--he doesn't even tell you his name until 1/4 of the way through the book.

[rustica.livejournal.com]

Character descriptions have to arise from within the plot and from within the character. If they come naturally from those, you've got a winner. Otherwise it'll be out of place and just plain wrong.

In first-person, the details have to be the ones the character would notice about themselves, OR which are commented on to that person by others. So if the guy is a warrior, he might notice muscle tone, injuries, relative size/weight of opponents etc. He's not likely to worry about his hair. In chick lit, the character might worry about whether her skin tone suits her lipstick. In other words, how does your character's appearance reflect their internal priorities? Does your character *care* what they look like? If not, why are you describing it?

Does your character's appearance reflect anything about their external world or circumstances? Technology - your chicklit character may be worried how she appears on a webcam, whereas your warrier may have only seen his reflection in water. What about aging? Any time that a character's body is changing rapidly, they will be more aware of it. Adolescence, obv, but also older people, pregnancy, and people recovering from a long illness, etc, etc.

Plus, the eternal rules. Less is usually more, and Show, don't tell.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

"Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?"

[woodburner.livejournal.com]

As others said, it's only something to worry over if the character's appearance is actually important in some way. Usually only certain details about the character's appearance are particularly relevant - like if they're particularly pale, or particularly tall, and if those things are important they usually come up pretty naturally in the narrative. (I once conveyed the generalities of a tall and skinny woman's appearance by having her feel awkward and fragile around a woman who was shorter, muscular and curvy; I think I handled it somewhat awkwardly but had the right idea, since it naturally conveyed a lot about the character's personality at the same time as her appearance.)

[katieupsidedown.livejournal.com]

I don't describe my character if I'm writing in the first person. I describe his family, friends, and everyone else around him. I know what he looks like to me, but as a reader I've pictured characters many times only to find they don't resemble the author's description. I'd rather leave it up to the reader to decide what they look like.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Good answer.

Why do we need a physical presence for such a tightly locked POV?

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I'm nearly at the end of a first person novel, and I was thinking that same thing yesterday "I've never described him at all" but then I thought. "Well,that makes sense, he wouldn't describe himself at all." whats important is what his voice is like.

[redbird]

If there are bits that matter, they're likely to manifest in how the person moves or stands in the world around her. For example, just looking tall or short probably doesn't--but "I really ought to learn to duck my head when I go through that doorway" or "Why don't they make chairs where my feet reach the floor?" might. Or, if it's social interaction, "he looks down at me. Again" or someone thinking about what a pleasure it is to be dancing with someone her own size.

[gaedhal.livejournal.com]

I don't remember Jane Eyre or Pip stopping the narrative to describe themselves. In fact, I couldn't tell you whether Pip was tall or short, had blond hair or dark, etc. And I didn't care. Still don't. But I know that Estella is beautiful. So I can picture what I think is beautiful and that seems to fit.

Likewise, we know Jane is small and "fairylike" because Rochester mentions it. He should know, right? But Jane isn't the type to stand in front of a mirror and say, "My blue eyes twinkled and I tossed my russet lock back and laughed as my pert breasts strained against the bodice of my gown" (how's that for hideous romance novel writing?). She's plain and others say so, so I picture someone plain. It's her character, not her looks that matter.

I remember a professor saying that Jane Austen never describes Elizabeth Bennet. She doesn't need to. Darcy mentions her fine dark eyes and that's all we need to know.

[hand2hand.livejournal.com]

at one point Jane does say "portrait of a governess, poor and plain", when someone has found her drawings, and then the scene shifts to her drawing of Rochester....

[burgundy.livejournal.com]

Have you ever read Agyar, by Steven Brust? First person, in the form of a sometimes-indifferently-kept journal, and he was excellent about not putting anything in there that wouldn't make sense for the narrator to write. So among other things you don't know, you never really do find out what he looks like. I love this book to death, and one of the reasons is the way he plays with reader expectations. (For example, at one point he muses to himself about why he chooses to write about some events and not others, and mentions a few of the not-written-about events without going into detail. And it's disconcerting, because as consumers of fiction we've absorbed without realizing it the understanding that what we see is all that happens in these fictional universes. The characters and the worlds don't exist except in what's shown. And this rocks that foundation: something more was going on, but we can't access it. It reminds me a bit of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, but coming from a different direction. But I digress.)

I think that if you're writing first-person, you should fully understand and embrace what that means. And some of it means not putting things in there that go against the narrative voice just because you want them included. You either find a way to make it work or you let it go. (Or, of course, you write something less good.) Of course, I say this as someone who's never written any fiction except for some really awful angst-ridden adolescent short stories.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Yes!!

I haven't read Agyar, but I know Brust's work. He is great at creating a reality that is bigger than what's on the page. I think the best fantasy does that, and it's one of the things that makes it appealing. The rather pedestrian stuff makes it all too obvious that the author has taken their creation about as far as it can go - and, if they are without mercy, are going to tell us alllllllll about it....

Plus there's also this thing (listen, children) called the Unreliable Narrator, which makes writing First Person tremendous fun. It's not just dramatic stuff like Christie's narrator/murderer leading you away from the evidence that implicates him, but little, subtle things like the way a narrator's character flaws betray their lack of insight into a situation - someone's vanity, say, denying the talent of a gifted young artist while it's perfectly clear to the reader from other clues that the one the narrator is disparaging is actually brilliant. It was one of the things I really enjoyed about writing the 4 different viewpoints in Thomas the Rhymer, the chance to play games like that.

[elswhere1.livejournal.com]

This is all totally fascinating. And educational. When I read your question, I immediately thought of some stories I've read (and some I've written) in which the characters all feel somewhat ethereal, like they exist more in their own heads and in the author's head than in the actual physical world. (Even more so when the piece is in the first person, which keeps you right inside someone's head, after all.) It makes it harder for the reader to invest in them.

For the (highly hypothetical) writer, sometimes making yourself think about what your people look like can be a way of forcing yourself to remember that they do in fact have bodies and faces and clothes and etc. But once you've done that, maybe it doesn't all have to go into the final draft.

Er. Bearing in mind that this is all from someone who hasn't written a finished piece of fiction in ten years or so...

Thank you!

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you all for those useful comments and amazing answers! Your discussion was of great help to me.

I know, my anser comes in a bit late... Sorry about that. :-)

Lucas

Re: Thank you!

[(Anonymous)]

Oops... I meant ansWer.

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