why I should never be allowed to be watch TV with a computer on my lap

[ellenkushner]

COMMERCIAL #1

Dude 1: Hey, look! If we order this pizza before 5, it's only $5!

Dude 2: But dude; pizza at PizzaHut is $5 all the time!

Dude 1: Yeah, but it tastes like shit.

COMMERCIAL#2

Hysterical Announcer: Mr. Clean's Magic Sponge! It cleans everything!!

Viewer: It's a freaking sponge with soap already on it.

Back to e-mail, now.

Comments

[wolfsilveroak.livejournal.com]

ROTFL, you sound like me!}:P
The hubby hates it.}:P

[yendi]

In fairness, the Magic Eraser really does a little more than that: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_eraser.

That said, I do my damnedest to only watch TV on my Tivo, so I don't have to see ads for places like Pizza Hut or Hardee's.

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

I agree with this comment. Do *not* take my Mr. Clean Magic Erasers away from me!

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Oh, dammit. There goes my being all superior.

I'm just so used to being able to sneer at stuff like compound cold medicines. And the wastefulness of pre-moistened disposable paper rags....

Ah, well!

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

Oh, no worries. But I've gotta tell ya, those things are amazing. And no chemicals! They *are* pricey, though.

[mouseworks.livejournal.com]

Best thing ever for getting oily dog grime off a wall.

[movingfinger.livejournal.com]

You're watching the wrong thing! Stick to Antiques Road Show reruns. Last week (at Mom's) there was one with someone bringing a never-used velvet, gold-embroidered, gaming-token pouch from Queen Anne's time! Which the querent's aunt had bought at a charity sale for 5 bob in the 1930's! Which the late Queen Mum had donated to said charity sale.

Now I like to think of the then-queen and a lady-in-waiting going through a cupboard for stuff for the charity sales.

Much better than screaming back at the ads for drugs and SUVs.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

What a great story!

But I must watch commercials. It's Educational.

No, really: it's the only way I can have any idea of the world that everyone else is living in.

[redbird]

Right, and you're a novelist, so you need that. (I have no idea of large pieces of the world that most people are living in--though I do sometimes read the newspaper sports section. Thus far, I'm getting by.)

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

Mock not the magic sponge. It works on the bathtub ring as few things do. Yet it leaves behind a disturbing residue, as if it is made of Mr. Clean's powdered bones.

Now, take it from me, there is no magic whatsoever in Stainless Steel Magic. Which peeves me greatly.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Yes, everyone's been correcting me - yea, even wielding the Power of Wiki against my doleful ignorance.

"Stainless Steel Magic" - didn't Andre Norton write that?

OK, no, well it's just as bad as all those books that attempted to seduce us with names like "The Magic Summer" and were about Growth Experiences.

Feh.

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

"Stainless Steel Magic" - didn't Andre Norton write that?

I knew there was a reason I sprang for the stuff in the first place. Clearly, subliminal advertising at work.

Now when will they market the product that will remove magic sponge residue? And what will they call it? Magic Sponge Magic, probably.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

"And what will they call it? "

Um....water?

Or perhaps "BonesBeGone"?

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

Um....water?

Don't give them the idea!

[yukihada.livejournal.com]

Someone needs to write a new version of "The Magic Summer" with actual magic in it ...or at least a few nifty cleaning sponges.

That Mr. Clean sponge took care of the microwave at work like nothing else would.

Pizza Hut pizza, on the other hand, is fantastically indigestible.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

"a new version of "The Magic Summer" with actual magic in it ...or at least a few nifty cleaning sponges."

LOL!!

[jazzfish]

as if it is made of Mr. Clean's powdered bones.

*choke* *cough* *sputter*

there is no magic whatsoever in Stainless Steel Magic.

Well, blast. Does it at least contain any Stainless Steel?

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

It is aerosol mineral oil. You may well imagine my disappointment. Why do we need this stuff when we already have WD-40?

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

In the interests of full disclosure, it is aerosol mineral oil that foams.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

How . . . magical.

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

I cannot describe my disillusion. And they told me that adulthood would be so great. Also that my freckles would fade. Hey. I have a magic sponge around here somewhere. You don't suppose...

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Put. That. Thing. Down.

NOW.

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

Stepping away from the magic sponge...

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Well, such a product will, in fact, shine stainless steel very nicely. Helpful if you have health inspectors due in your kitchen.

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

In truth, I must confess it does do a good job on clean stainless steel. Plus foam!

But I enlisted magic in hope I could rehabilitate a sauce pan older than I am. I failed. (But still use it almost daily. After all, the inside is clean.)

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

What you want is Bar Keeper's Friend, a mild abrasive cleanser. Very good at making grubby saucepans shiny.

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

Sad to say, if this product were called Bar Keeper's Magic Friend, or even Magic Bar Keeper's Friend, I would probably have purchased this ages ago. Thanks for the tip!

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I love Barkeep's Friend. (Yes, I really do call it that.) Soft Scrub is nice for some things, like glass stove tops, but BKF is the real muscle in my kitchen.

And if I did any housework, that would mean something.

[ladyuranus.livejournal.com]

I think I have selective memory with Pizza Hut. Every so often (like once a year) I will purchase one at a friend's house and expect it to be greasy goodness... and it never is.

It is always very disappointing.

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

If you're ever in the UK, try their Pizza Hut. OMFG, I think one of the major ingredients is crack. They have ingredients like goat cheese, and fresh arugula, and sweetcorn, and scores of other wonderful things, and they do it well. I can't stand US Pizza Hut--Skanky Hut--but put me off in Gatwick, and my pizza radar is primed, just behind the fish and chips radar and the decent curry radar.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the tip!

The World is a Wonderful Place.

[movingfinger.livejournal.com]

Some American chains cannot survive outside the US without being improved. Fortified, as it were. Like the Dunkin' Donuts in Spain which sell booze.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Ha!

[yukihada.livejournal.com]

Totally OT! But your icon is made of win! Oh, I'm dying from the Shitennou and their matching outfits! Literally, I am. I have a cold so laughing is painful.

sigh. I love you, Live-Action PGSM!

[yaoi-in-exile.livejournal.com]

Down here, the Keep Louisville Weird bumper stickers everyone plasters all over everything meet peoples' eyes far more (we hope) than commercials. So small, underrated businesses Win.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Yay!!

[xanath.livejournal.com]

Dude 1: Hey, look! If we order this pizza before 5, it's only $5!

Dude 2: But dude; pizza at PizzaHut is $5 all the time!

Dude 1: Yeah, but it tastes like shit.

::snarfles water::

My brother and I used to see how badly we could crack each other up with commercials or cartoons. You haven't been bored until you find yourself watching Ant and the Aardvark, cracking wise at the Aardvark's expense, while eating just-as-bad-as-PizzaHut's-crap Domino's.

(I've had Pizza Hut--once. Bleargh!)

[rojomojo.livejournal.com]

ah, my wife and I have a cold remedy that seems to work. take enough cold medicine so E!tv makes sense. Once your IQ has dropped that far, you will feel no pain. and until I watched E!, I never knew blondes with big hair automatically come with cleavage.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

LOL!

<<"How do you treat a cold?" Sir William Osler was once asked by a colleague. He was one of America's greatest physicians. "I tell them to go to bed, hang their hat on the bedpost, start drinking whisky and stop when they see two hats", he replied.>>

[coffeeem.livejournal.com]

Henceforth, please write all my television commercials.

If they were like that, I'd pay attention.

Uh, no, on second thought, don't ever write television commercials.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Heh! (waves)

[handworn.livejournal.com]

Dude 1: Yeah, but it tastes like shit.

Dude 2: What's your basis for comparison?