God Damn America. . . .

[ellenkushner]

...And not for the reasons of Reverend Wright, but because it has spawned the Comedy Club.

You probably think I'm a pretty nice person. And, in fact, I'm a whole lot nicer than I used to be. The rest is mere show.

As I was reminded this evening when I attended a dear old friend's school Extension School Stand-Up class performance at the Broadway Comedy Club. Oh, she was fine; pretty funny, once she found the microphone & you could hear her. But the guys who were on before her?

Well, let's just say that I sure wish I had a best buddy who was a peerless swordsman who could disable their vital organs quickly and efficiently.

Reader, I heckled him.

And so would you've, if you'd been present for lines like "Mexicans want to have sex all the time" and "Dominicans can't read, that's why they jump the turnstiles." It was vile, and I let him have it. He tried to rebut by insulting me, but little did he know who he was dealing with.

They should never have imposed that 2-drink minimum, the price-gouging bastards. Everyone knows I can't hold my mai tai.

Comments

[hobbit-em.livejournal.com]

Hooray for you! Seriously.

[wintersweet.livejournal.com]

>>Reader, I heckled him.

Classic!

[whumpdotcom.livejournal.com]

Everyone knows I can't hold my mai tai.

Of course, a full one would make a decent thrown weapon.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm grinning like a loon just thinking about this.
If only you had a videocam!
-Shweta

[cabell.livejournal.com]

The last time I was at a comedy club, I was honestly astonished by how much of the material depended on sexism and homophobia. I think racism came in a poor third only because Wisconsin is so damn white bread that it would only confuse a large portion of the audience.


Good for you.

[xanath.livejournal.com]

::applauds:: Ahhh, so many morons, and so few good mai tais.

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

You are my HERO.

[ndgmtlcd.livejournal.com]

For a few secodns there I thought he meant that Dominican monks couldn't read, and that's why they jumped the turnstyles. I wasn't sure if it was an insult to the Order or something else.

OK, I got it now. My number 2 patron saint, Domingo de Guzmán Garcés (1170 – August 6, 1221) isn't involved at all.

[naamah-darling.livejournal.com]

Some folks are incredibly lucky that my imaginary people cannot, in fact, spring fully-formed from my forehead and lay into them with silver-shod blackthorn sticks.

I have to settle for heckling, too, though I imagine you are rather more impressive at it than I am.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Don't blame it on the mai tai! Blame it on your sense of justice!

I would never have thought of doing that at a show. But obviously you couldn't just walk out, because your friend was up next.

How did you do it? Did you boo? Did you shout out lines that were funnier than his?

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

The fools. They didn't know who they were messing with.

[vschanoes.livejournal.com]

I'm proud of you.

[ellen-denham.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I bet you showed him a thing or two.

When things like that make me mad, I'm more likely to make a show of walking out because I can never think of anything witty to say on the spot. I guess that's why I'm a writer and not an improv actor -- I'm the person who is always thinking of the perfect comeback a day after the fact.

[chang3002.livejournal.com]

Good on ya, Ellen! Those are some horrible, not funny comments. Jeez.

What I wouldn't give to hear you let loose on da radio with those responses!

[huladavid.livejournal.com]

A bunch'a years back I went to a local comedy club. During one of the comic's* set he noticed that there was a group near the front who weren't laughing all that much, so he asked 'em if they were a bunch of 'tards--or something along those lines. During the intermission I noticed a woman from the group come up to the guy in question, and she told him that actually they were from a group home for mentally retarded adults...
_____
*I know I didn't do this right. There were many comics, and this happened during one specific comic's routine. I blame not having my glasses...

[vivnow.livejournal.com]

I'm Cuban American.

I'm glad you heckled him. :)

You like Dutch Baroque art?

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Well, in fact, I was sitting in the front row, and they were videotaping the whole thing, so who knows?

Many of the other students were merely boring or stupid. I do have a very expressive face, so I kind of hope for their sakes that my reactions (frequently turned to my companions across the table) are not on film for them to see. But they may be, I suppose.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

I think they've already thought of that; those little plastic glasses just aren't all that convincing. Maybe if you set it on fire first......

But words cut deeper.

[amelia-petkova.livejournal.com]

It would have been even more fun if you brought along the peerless swordsman's boyfriend who doesn't know how to stop insulting people.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

I do - more than somewhat.

You like cafe con leche?:)

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Umm. . . . I did?

[otherdeb.livejournal.com]

Damn, Ellen, I would have paid good money to see you cut this jerk down to size.

Sigh - I always miss the good stuff!

[writingjen.livejournal.com]

Go you! I'm inspired.

I just looked up the etymology of "heckle," and found it comes from the Middle English word meaning "to comb flax" (hekelen). I like that -- pointed, well-aimed heckling separates the good (your friend) from the rubbish (this racist guy).

[vivnow.livejournal.com]

I love café con leche. ;)

[burger-eater.livejournal.com]

Awesome.