God Damn America. . . .

[ellenkushner]

...And not for the reasons of Reverend Wright, but because it has spawned the Comedy Club.

You probably think I'm a pretty nice person. And, in fact, I'm a whole lot nicer than I used to be. The rest is mere show.

As I was reminded this evening when I attended a dear old friend's school Extension School Stand-Up class performance at the Broadway Comedy Club. Oh, she was fine; pretty funny, once she found the microphone & you could hear her. But the guys who were on before her?

Well, let's just say that I sure wish I had a best buddy who was a peerless swordsman who could disable their vital organs quickly and efficiently.

Reader, I heckled him.

And so would you've, if you'd been present for lines like "Mexicans want to have sex all the time" and "Dominicans can't read, that's why they jump the turnstiles." It was vile, and I let him have it. He tried to rebut by insulting me, but little did he know who he was dealing with.

They should never have imposed that 2-drink minimum, the price-gouging bastards. Everyone knows I can't hold my mai tai.

Comments

[hobbit-em.livejournal.com]

Hooray for you! Seriously.

[wintersweet.livejournal.com]

>>Reader, I heckled him.

Classic!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm grinning like a loon just thinking about this.
If only you had a videocam!
-Shweta

[whumpdotcom.livejournal.com]

Everyone knows I can't hold my mai tai.

Of course, a full one would make a decent thrown weapon.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

I think they've already thought of that; those little plastic glasses just aren't all that convincing. Maybe if you set it on fire first......

But words cut deeper.

[cabell.livejournal.com]

The last time I was at a comedy club, I was honestly astonished by how much of the material depended on sexism and homophobia. I think racism came in a poor third only because Wisconsin is so damn white bread that it would only confuse a large portion of the audience.


Good for you.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

What you said. The overt racism was just the last straw - and clearly unacceptable to everyone in ways that, sadly, sexism & homophobia are not.

[xanath.livejournal.com]

::applauds:: Ahhh, so many morons, and so few good mai tais.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Heh. Thanks.

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

You are my HERO.

[ndgmtlcd.livejournal.com]

For a few secodns there I thought he meant that Dominican monks couldn't read, and that's why they jumped the turnstyles. I wasn't sure if it was an insult to the Order or something else.

OK, I got it now. My number 2 patron saint, Domingo de Guzmán Garcés (1170 – August 6, 1221) isn't involved at all.

[17catherines.livejournal.com]

You're doing better than me - it didn't occur to me that there was another meaning until I read your comment (and really, Dominicans, of all orders, not being able to read? Study is right there in the Rule! Not that I like the restrictions on it, mind, but reading is definitely mandatory...).

[naamah-darling.livejournal.com]

Some folks are incredibly lucky that my imaginary people cannot, in fact, spring fully-formed from my forehead and lay into them with silver-shod blackthorn sticks.

I have to settle for heckling, too, though I imagine you are rather more impressive at it than I am.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Don't blame it on the mai tai! Blame it on your sense of justice!

I would never have thought of doing that at a show. But obviously you couldn't just walk out, because your friend was up next.

How did you do it? Did you boo? Did you shout out lines that were funnier than his?

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

The fools. They didn't know who they were messing with.

[vschanoes.livejournal.com]

I'm proud of you.

[ellen-denham.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I bet you showed him a thing or two.

When things like that make me mad, I'm more likely to make a show of walking out because I can never think of anything witty to say on the spot. I guess that's why I'm a writer and not an improv actor -- I'm the person who is always thinking of the perfect comeback a day after the fact.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, it would never occur to me to walk out. *That* would be embarrassing....

Takes all kinds.

But I wasn't really witty. I was way past witty and into "I have to kill you now." Fortunately, there was no competition.

[chang3002.livejournal.com]

Good on ya, Ellen! Those are some horrible, not funny comments. Jeez.

What I wouldn't give to hear you let loose on da radio with those responses!

[huladavid.livejournal.com]

A bunch'a years back I went to a local comedy club. During one of the comic's* set he noticed that there was a group near the front who weren't laughing all that much, so he asked 'em if they were a bunch of 'tards--or something along those lines. During the intermission I noticed a woman from the group come up to the guy in question, and she told him that actually they were from a group home for mentally retarded adults...
_____
*I know I didn't do this right. There were many comics, and this happened during one specific comic's routine. I blame not having my glasses...

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, at the one I went to there was a guy doing a routine about Retard Hip Hop being the next big thing.

CAn't we make this stuff illegal? Or at least execute those who fail to amuse us?

[vivnow.livejournal.com]

I'm Cuban American.

I'm glad you heckled him. :)

You like Dutch Baroque art?

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

I do - more than somewhat.

You like cafe con leche?:)

[amelia-petkova.livejournal.com]

It would have been even more fun if you brought along the peerless swordsman's boyfriend who doesn't know how to stop insulting people.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Umm. . . . I did?

[otherdeb.livejournal.com]

Damn, Ellen, I would have paid good money to see you cut this jerk down to size.

Sigh - I always miss the good stuff!

[writingjen.livejournal.com]

Go you! I'm inspired.

I just looked up the etymology of "heckle," and found it comes from the Middle English word meaning "to comb flax" (hekelen). I like that -- pointed, well-aimed heckling separates the good (your friend) from the rubbish (this racist guy).

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Lovely.

[burger-eater.livejournal.com]

Awesome.

[queenbookwench.livejournal.com]

Verily, I would have paid good money to see such a thing (as long as said money did not go anywhere in the vicinity of Racist Asshole Guy). :)

I'm not a natural wit myself, but I enjoy living vicariously through the wittiness of other people.

[astolat]

*applauds and wishes I had been there*

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

YAY YOU!!!!

[lindorm.livejournal.com]

Hi there! I found out you have a page here through Kate Elliot and I hope it's ok to friend you? As a longstanding fan of the Mad Duke and multiple time reader of Privilege of the Sword I'd like to read your thoughts of other tings as well.

If it's intruding just let me know and I'll remove you again.
/Nene, Malmö, Sweden

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

You are, of course, most welcome! What a beautiful icon, too.

Did you know that Delia's book CHANGELING has been published by Wahlströms? I think the title has been translated as "Neef the Changeling" but I'm not sure - can you tell us?

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

We netflixed a Chris Rock standup because he's supposed to be The Comic Of Our Time.

We stopped it after ten minutes because of all the viciously misogynistic jokes. When the camera panned the audience, the men present were laughing and the women next to them had grim or carefully neutral expressions.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Figures. Well, at least the women aren't slavishly pretending to find it funny.

I wonder why no one's saying anything about it in the national cultural dialogue?

Go Ellen!!

[lisa-marli.livejournal.com]

I have a female friend who does stand up and she wonders why I don't go to her gigs more often.
I'm not concerned with what a Nice Jewish Girl will say - I'm sure it will be funny and good to listen to - It's the other Idiots before and after her that I have no desire to see. Yep, same type of jokes. Only they are All Mexican and jumping the BART turnstiles. :P