Clippings: McQueen & Cake

[ellenkushner]

"[O]ne of [fashion designer] McQueen's real gifts was a comprehension of an experience recognizable to most women, the feeling of being the object of someone's unforgiving gaze." -- NYTimes Style section, 2/14/10

Well, that explains a lot about the women I find confusing, the ones who really seem to think that if they go to the grocery w/o full makeup or in the wrong pair of shoes, the Furies will descend. The fierceness with which they feel this only makes sense in the presence of an imaginary Gazer installed early in life.

'"The goyim . . . do not feed their guests; it is not their custom," the girls' mother explains, bringing a cake as a gift while paying a social call. "We must respect the customs of others cultures, but that does not mean we have to starve."'
-- Cathleen Schine, The Three Weissmanns of Westport (a modern riff on Sense & Sensiblity!), as reviewed by Dominique Browning in the NYTimes Book Review

Ha! When I read that aloud to Delia, adding, "Now, who do you think wrote that?" she said, without missing a beat, "You?"

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I have never been comfortable in my skin, it was drummed into me so early that I am not my own property, but that of my culture -- as a girl and then a woman, I exist to be measured, judged and commented on. Yet I don't worry about the make-up or shoes, oddly. Throughout my life, I have been handled and commented on by strangers of both sexes and made to feel out-of-line if I commented back. It drives me nuts to see other women treated this way, yet I can't seem to push back when I'm the subject. Ho hum.
My people -- the Welsh -- are also compulsive guest feeders.

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

Aha! Yes, that confirms my suspicion that it is drummed into one at an early age, probably by family. The person at the back of my mind with all this is a relative by marriage, always exquisitely turned out, who clearly had it drummed into her by her rather terrifying -and equally terrified - mother. I've met the mother. I'd be scared, too.

There's a terrific story we should all (re)read now: "A Visit from the Footbinder" by Emily Prager.

Yes, the Welsh are excellent bakers! Frankly, the only culture I've ever encountered that didn't feed its guests are the Anglo/WASPS, who drink instead (instead of as well). There are a lot of them in Connecticut, where Westport is.